I miss you to death. As soon as today kicked in, I was reminded of you. Right about now, you’d be here, arriving with your famous baked ham. We’d converse about work, family, about my current romantic interest; we’d joke about past romantic interests, and of course we’d fill each other in on all the latest, juciest gossip. I still hold all your stories, anecdotes, and life lessons in my mind, while I keep the memory of you close to my heart. You are my second mother, a beautiful woman of God. I hear Heaven’s pretty awesome. When I get there, we’ll have a good, lengthy conversation. What I wouldn’t give to hear the raspiness of your voice, or your laugh, bubbly and fragile. I thank God for the privelege and blessing of knowing you. Happy Thanksgiving.

You’ve got a knack for being lovable that I miss and wish I could inherit or learn.

If we had prepared an itinerary for today, all it would’ve said was “Have fun, because this day was made for it!” So it went, and we followed it to the T. Beautiful weather. Tristan Prettyman with the sunroof open and all the windows down. Krispy Kreme. Stuck car windows. The driving range at Pacific Palms. The “get as many balls in the lake as you can” contest. Mark’s happy gilmore drive. The million dollar mate conversation. Colima burger. Shaun of the Dead. 25 mph drives(next one will be better).

Mama said knock you out.

Let the stars chase you away.

November 15, 2005

I love how autumn feels on my face. And how the oranges and yellows burn the leaves on/off the trees. And the fact that scarves and sweaters will be the new daily attire soon. The world has a funny way of playing tricks. One day I’ve got everything so figured out, and the next I’m a trainwreck. And the realization that time has been passing so quickly lately doesn’t help. It’s almost time to send cards out about on the holidays. Sometimes I wonder if the words I write in those letters are actually sincere. Or if it’s all just thoughtless, unmeaningful, yet uplifting babble. I hope it’s the former. Because I like to think that I do care. I’m kind of rambling on, and it’s 3:23am, so I’m sorry if this is difficult to decipher. I spend these nights awake fixed on thoughts of certain moments and hopeful ideas. On questionable actions and whether everything or anything matters. You are my deepest and my darkest. You always have been. Whether you always will be is to be determined. These words are poor substitute for my emotions. Take my word that I’m smiling. I think I’m crazy. But then the best ones always are. Let’s listen to The Spill Canvas and fall in love with each other again for the first time, because you are beautiful. This is to everybody. And somebody. And nobody.

This is my mood right now.

The cast: Hendrix De Rosas. Matthew Van Sickle. Anthony Sim. Jake Hammack. Zachary Nass. The setting: Old Town Pasadena. The premise: Five exceptionally dressed young men(boys) have plans for sushi and a night on the town. The conclusion: After a beautiful and satisfying meal and plenty of pictorials, our five heroes paint the town red, laughing and loving every single minute of it. Times like these are a rarity, which is unfortunate, but it’s that fact that makes us enjoy each other’s company all the more. Sincere smiles, not wearing thin.

“This might just be a waste of time, but there’s no one I’d rather waste my time with than all of my best friends. We’ll all take turns but not for the worst. We’re all has-beens and never-were’s, and we’re all in the back smokin’ just watching life pass us by. As if we cared enough to try and catch up. Enough to make up for lost time. We’ve been down, we’ve been out, we’ve been hanging around… Let’s tip our glasses to having no direction. Let’s waste this night.”

Falling in love doesn’t always necessarily mean “falling in love”. Because I’m in it.

Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire. It comes out November 18th. Yummy. I’m amazed at how interested I am in J.K. Rowling’s creations. I always told myself that I wasn’t going to be one of those “Harry Potter freaks”. I didn’t even want to watch the first movie, because i thought it was strictly for children. But here I am, thoroughly obsessed with wizards, witches, muggles, Hogwarts, quidditch, Slytherins, and three extraordinary kids with overwhelming and interesting adventures. This is storytelling at it’s best, so it’s no wonder why there are so many fanatics about. The books are told so vividly, it’s as if you’re watching a movie; while the movies are fantastically and accurately made to detail(although certain parts of the books are left out, the sets and visuals are amazing). Read the books and watch the films.

“Mischief managed.”

I’ve got withdrawal.

November 4, 2005

And you’re on a plane. :(