As told by Anthony Sim of Horse on an Arrow himself:

“I met Hendrix on a recon mission back in ’87. The Cubans had Hendrix captive after a failed mission 2 years prior. My team infiltrated the camp where he was located and found him lying on the ground asleep with a beard as long as his hair. We’ve been friends ever since!!!!”

It didn’t happen exactly like that, but it’s an accurate depiction.

Rule: Write a statement intended for 10 random people and never tell which one is intended for.

01. You confuse me. You know you can’t have what you want, yet you press on toward it, embarrassingly and without a hint of subtlety with the hope that perserverance will be the determining factor in all this. All while trying not to look so desperate. Maybe one day you’ll either take a chance and move on, or finally take a chance and aquire what you’ve been pursuing. It looks as though taking a chance is imminent either way. And I honestly don’t know which path you should take because persistence is good, but to an extent. But where is that limit line? My best advice to you is to continue to be patient, not try so hard, and keep your options open. As hard as that may be.

02. You are gorgeous, and you’ve got a smile that kills me everytime. I feel like an idiot when you’re around. Imagine a boy full of nerves. I’ve got all the words at the tip of my tongue, but everytime I go to say them, they slip down my throat and I choke. I know you know but I don’t. I’d stop writing about you, but then this journal would be unsatisfying and boring. I hope you don’t mind. I can’t (but you can) help that you’ve got qualities I’ve always looked for. You’ve got a heart for serving God. You’re incredibly intelligent and kind, strong-willed and determined. At least these are the things I percieve about you. I don’t know you and I won’t pretend that I do, but I would love to get to and find that all the perceptions I have about you are true. In the same manner, I hope all the perceptions you have about ME prove false.

03. Yeah buddy. Thank you for always being there no matter what. I’ve been praying for you and am overjoyed and relieved to know that Jesus Christ is your Savior. I’ll be here to answer any questions you’ve got and to listen whenever you need someone to. As always.

04. Come back already. Crap.

05. You’re an awesome girl. So please stop being a whore.

06. Life is more than just sleeping, schoolwork, and books. All this time, I’ve wanted you to just have fun, relax, and be able to not stress out over things you will inevitably forget. Lately you’ve been choosing research papers over me, which is why I’ve stopped calling, but remember: You won’t be this young forever, so please enjoy it while it lasts. You’ll regret it if you don’t. Call me sometime because I DO miss hanging out with you.

07. Things are pretty much back to normal between you and I. I mean, except for the hanging out everyday part. Nonetheless, I love how it is right now. Jerk.

08. I am proud of you and the person you’ve grown up to be. But sometimes I wish you wouldn’t see or talk to me as if I was inferior to you. Because I’m not.

09. You’ve put yourself into this situation, and I hate the fact that you haven’t manned-up to your responsibilities to your family. Grow up. You’ve forced yourself to have to.

10. I love how faithful You are to me. I don’t deserve a thing. All I can do is hope and pray that I can return the favor as best I can. Nothing I could say could ever describe exactly how I feel in my heart. Just as well though, because You are the only One who could ever know that.

Best guesses go to hendrix.derosas@gmail.com.

Church hopping.

March 12, 2006

Since PCC was still having their family camp, I didn’t have a church to go to this morning for worship service. Fortunately, I mentioned this to Cathy(Stephanie’s friend) on friday, who then invited me to her church. Long story short: It was incredibly surprising and hilarious how their vietnamese church and our filipino church have so much in common. Services, sunday schools, and even the people reminded me of our church. I had an awesome time and even got to stick around with Cathy in their leader’s meeting. I was blessed and I’ll keep that church in my prayers. God’s using them mightily. To Cathy(if she ever reads this): Thank you for inviting me and being a great host and tour guide.

By the way, Gil Grissom and the rest of the CSI team are my heroes.

Blindfolded.

March 9, 2006

“So now I’ve made the decision to walk behind you in the dark for the rest of my life. And I’ll never show my face again because it’s too scarred and bloody to be enough and I don’t have all the right stuff. All I have are empty boxes to carry away your heart. And I think that tonight, I will sneak into your house and I’ll sing songs and wake you up and I’ll take you blindfolded dancing onto bridges and you’ll say that you don’t want to be with me. Because no one ever does, and no one ever thinks of me that way. But I will still drive you home if you never let me forget about you and if you promise me that I’m good enough for someone. Because I’ve got to be good enough for you, and someday soon I’ll get it right and then you’ll see just how good I can be. So don’t ask me about forever because I’m feeling lost. But there’s got to be someplace for me because where will I go? Will there be some place for me and will you be waiting there for me? If and when we get there, please catch me before I crawl all the way home, but I won’t stop until you do.”

This doesn’t relate to my life or anything. I just really love Saves the Day. Ahem.

Lighter notes.

March 2, 2006

So I woke up this morning(9am) and read my own entry from this morning(3am). I couldn’t help but think to myself: I would so hate to be you. You put up with so much and I don’t know how you do it. Your patience(or at least your composure) is admirable. I’ve no intentions of making things awkward or weird. The previous entry was merely an amalgamation of thoughts, feelings, and emotions put into lowercases and capitals that I’ve had bottled in for God knows how long. I won’t delete it, but I hope we can proceed going on with the way things are now, because I love how all of it is. High five me with a sincere smile on your face when i see you next.

Haha. I titled this lighter notes but lately, every entry I’ve planned to type has not come out as intended. Chalk it up to ungodly amounts of CocaCola and screamo. So ON A LIGHTER NOTE: Sunnydaysafterrainydaysmakemesmile. I’ve just purchased the Underoath CD/DVD and I’m in love. I was immensely upset at the fact that the TBS show at the HOB was sold out. But I talked to one of our Starbucks regulars last night, and apparently, he might have two extra tickets. If his friends bail, he’s willing to sell one to me. I’m not getting my hopes up yet though. My journey through the book of Galatians is a total blessing, as well as an eye-opener. I’ll address that in a future entry though. Miss Heather Peraza and I have made plans to see Jenny Lewis & the Watson Twins at the Glasshouse. Can’t wait. I’m still sick and I haven’t got a voice, but I detect hints of wellness. I think that’s all I’ll type for now. I’ll close with some Underoath lyrics: “Hey unfaithful, I will teach you to be stronger. Hey ungrateful, I will teach you to forgive one another. Hey unloving, I will love you.”

God’s good all the time. And I absolutely adore Christian screamo. Gah.

Did I mention that brutal honesty is in in 2006? I’m caught in utter denial but I’ve always known, so that probably doesn’t even count as denial. I’ve been telling myself “meet new people” or “try to find an interest in just about anybody” in attempts to get over you. And I know that that seems irrational and immature and incredibly pathetic. And I’m always trying so hard not to look so desperate, to no avail. My ideas aren’t always the best. Or the most intelligent. I just desperately need to find a way to make any feelings I have for you somewhat neutral. But nobody I’ve ever met compares to you or every aspect I admire about you. And I despise the fact that you inspire paintings, sketches, journal entries and any and every ounce of creativity I possess. And the fact that you haven’t and may never feel the same about me. It hurts, but if I’ve learned anything in the month of February, it’s this: God has a plan for me and has my perfect mate in mind, and will intercede at the perfect time because He is perfect. So I guess my prayer requests will consist of: patience, strength, guidance, and to continue to keep Him in focus and as top priority as I live the life He’s given me the privilege of living. But you’ll constantly be in my prayers. And dreams. At least for now. And we all know that I know that you know that this is to you. Subtlety is so 2005. Pleasedon’tkillorhateme. I just want to get all this out in the open. I’ve got hopes that this entry won’t be regrettable.If anything, just

don’t believe a word I’ve said because I think I’m high off this cough medicine.