All in.

April 25, 2006

Do you ever think what if maybe the wish you made came true but for someone else instead? I don’t remember where I was going with that because whatever’s in my head isn’t making sense. Be careful what you wish for I guess(?). Like where do wishes go when they fall short of granted? Last bets and best chances. But best chances bet best.

Wait. What?

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So I totally met Tyrone Wells earlier. I know. Weird. I was working, and he came up to the register and asked for a tall decaf. I suspected it was him, and the name on the credit card confirmed my notion. We only talked for about 5 minutes, but it was still pretty cool. The conversation consisted of: The release party at the El Rey and why I can’t attend, Western Christian, my “cool” name, “Better Off Without You” and “Dream Like New York”. We tried calling up Katrina, but she didn’t answer. That’s probably because she screens her calls. I always get lucky when it comes to meeting people I admire (not necessarily “celebrity status”) in the most random places. And they’re always nice enough to take pictures with me, sign autographs, or make phonecalls to Katrina. I wish he’d have left a message, but I was talking him so long that there was a line behind him, so we cut it short. We shook hands, and he was like, “It was nice meeting you, Hendrix.” And I was like, “Likewise. If plans fall through, I’ll try to make it on Saturday.” And that was the end.

Another one of those days I guess.

It’s murdaaa…

April 19, 2006

I’m slowing my world down (even more). Realizing that we only make decisions for that feeling we get when we evade whatever it is that we fear most or for that first kiss feeling we get when we finally get what we love. And this is one of those entries that were made for you to (not) understand. So don’t. I’d stop wishing, but I think these dreams are keeping me awake.

I’m done wishing on stars, inside tunnels, and for you.

p.s. to the biggest sweetheart ever: thanks for always taking time out to talk(or in this case, listen) and for always going that extra step especially when i can be all a-holish and emo-ey. pardon the french. the “feel-good” cd you made me will be playing on repeat for weeks on end, i can tell.

enter.

thoughts running through my mind this very second: we dream big and then wake up everyday and hunch over computer screens. || computer desktop wallpapers are, in a way, a display of your personality; character. a public exhibition of what you love or admire at any given moment. usually photographs of people, places, artwork, etc… i’ve got the cast of LOST on mine. haha. what’s on yours? || brand new is finally on tour. || all we ever have anymore lately are “i miss you’s” and “auto-responses from ‘your screen name goes here'” and that makes me sad. i hear you’re doing good. but… here it comes: i miss you. let’s play catch-up soon. || PCC easter play 2006: as always, God had the victory in all this. we did this for His glory, and in the end, people came to Christ. so all in all it was successful, and we’ve made fond memories. practice was hell, but i’m going to miss it. || happy birthdays to matt van sickle and kit kat. and welcome back to eunice. || “this drink contains tapioca balls that can be a choking hazard.” || my patchy beard is growing stupid. but i’ve actually gotten good responses so either my sister is wrong about girls hating facial hair or i’m meeting the rare few that don’t, coincidentally and consecutively. actually i’ve been feeling like a stud lately. not only am i getting compliments on my dirty beard, but also on ragged clothing i’ve had for years, my shaved head, my eyes(huh??), my scent, and how “pogi” i am. what have I been doing wrong all these years?? actually the question is, what have i been doing right recently?? i’m flattered but none of it matters because 0% of these acclamations came from you. how i wish i could care less about what you thought. i’ve got to keep telling myself that you’re nothing special. except… what if you are? || we all went to steamer’s cafe AGAIN last night and had the same waitress, who recognized us. fun times with the kids. i guess that’s all for the updates. i finished in four.

exit.

Cute is what I aim for.

April 7, 2006

Everything that I want to recapitulate about everything I think about is all scrambled up in my head. The difficulty is attempting to narrate it in a way that you (or I) can interpret. But it’s 3:09am so I won’t really try that hard and I feel like writing/typing run-on sentences with no regards to grammar. I am going to say some incredibly random things right now but whatever spills from these fingertips is what I feel. Sometimes you want everything to go faster and be over but sometimes you want just the opposite. Sometimes you just want people to ask the “are you okay’s” and say the “you seem kind of sad lately’s” so you can respond with the “no, i’m fine’s” when you know and they know that you aren’t. And it’s lame but it’s true. Stop giving me the attention that I want because I don’t want it. I want to do something with this life. Something productive. I want to contribute to… anything. I want to be useful; romantic. Let’s all be less… emo-ey. Let’s stop pretending to unbreak our “poor” little hearts that were never broken in the first place because we need to recognize that there are priorities exceedingly more significant. We become more unhealthy with every breath we take. We’re losing grip on our youth as each birthday passes. You’re probably thinking I’m worried but I’m everything but. I’m just realizing that there’s more to “it all” than we think. How about we do this (life) thing right and live it happy and to the fullest? But all I am is a big talker because I know the moment I see you tonight, I’ll forget all this and thus fall subject to the pulchritude of your eyes and smile and wish you had the latter because of any (IF any) charm I possess and/or demonstrate.

My iPod is on shuffle, and I’m smiling because the Postal Service is on. :-)

Fun weekend. Lunch with Heather, Jessica, and Anthony was particulary pleasant. Heather is amazing and I’m jealous of Jeff and that’s why “Between You and Me” is my song for her. Enough about that because crushes on other boys’ girlfriends are stupid. Scary kids scaring kids in haunted parks and schools should be a weekly activity. It was too much– in a good way. Let’s do some shoutouts: Big ups to my niggas Angel, Andy, K, Raleigh, Steph, Kitkat, Daniel, Kris, Ronald, and Mark, yo. Blah blah blah. I’m not in the mood to write. I’ll probably be back to re-edit. EDIT: I’m probably not going to be back to re-edit. And I’m listening to too much rap lately. EDIT again: I re-edited.

I gotta testify, come up in the spot lookin’ extra fly.