Cute is what I aim for.

April 7, 2006

Everything that I want to recapitulate about everything I think about is all scrambled up in my head. The difficulty is attempting to narrate it in a way that you (or I) can interpret. But it’s 3:09am so I won’t really try that hard and I feel like writing/typing run-on sentences with no regards to grammar. I am going to say some incredibly random things right now but whatever spills from these fingertips is what I feel. Sometimes you want everything to go faster and be over but sometimes you want just the opposite. Sometimes you just want people to ask the “are you okay’s” and say the “you seem kind of sad lately’s” so you can respond with the “no, i’m fine’s” when you know and they know that you aren’t. And it’s lame but it’s true. Stop giving me the attention that I want because I don’t want it. I want to do something with this life. Something productive. I want to contribute to… anything. I want to be useful; romantic. Let’s all be less… emo-ey. Let’s stop pretending to unbreak our “poor” little hearts that were never broken in the first place because we need to recognize that there are priorities exceedingly more significant. We become more unhealthy with every breath we take. We’re losing grip on our youth as each birthday passes. You’re probably thinking I’m worried but I’m everything but. I’m just realizing that there’s more to “it all” than we think. How about we do this (life) thing right and live it happy and to the fullest? But all I am is a big talker because I know the moment I see you tonight, I’ll forget all this and thus fall subject to the pulchritude of your eyes and smile and wish you had the latter because of any (IF any) charm I possess and/or demonstrate.

My iPod is on shuffle, and I’m smiling because the Postal Service is on. :-)

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