hate love hate

September 8, 2009

love apparently isn’t for me. but does that necessarily mean no happy ending? i’d like to think not. but this is one instance where i wish i still had a best friend to turn to/confide in. i also wish i had a better entry written under “love” but it may never get past this point. buying faux sunshine off shelves. instructions: “just add water”. chemical rainbows and singing birds over the chaotic and disastrous streets in my head. confused, happy, and disappointed at the same time and having high hopes that maybe this is a temporary quarter-life crisis, but also trying to analyze wth is going on.

sinking feeling, shooting flares hoping you’ll notice and throwing compasses overboard hoping you’ll find me — i really hope you do because you make me smile when it’s hard to.

continually praying that He reveals Himself more to me and gives me wisdom to understand the situations He places me in, as well as comprehend that there is more to love than what i currently (don’t) know. that His love is all i need, to find overflowing contentment in that and to consider anything else as an added blessing. this entry might seem bi-polar. it isn’t. it is.


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