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And this is one of them.
Photo Credit: Matthew Romasanta for http://www.explodingbuffalo.com/

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Well technically, one book, one magazine, and one comic. Haha.

Current reads:

  • On page 103 of Haruki Murakami’s 1Q84
  • the main article about Solar Storms in the June issue of National Geographic
  • & The Incredible Hulk #92 (Part 1 of the Planet Hulk Saga).

#nookreader #<3

the disney life

May 12, 2012

Sometimes I wish life was like a Disney film. Somewhat good-natured, filled with happiness and hope and adventure.

Or maybe it is; I’m just still at the confusing and challenging and distressing part of the movie. The part where the main character is in search of self, where his/her perspective is all wrong, where everything good is taken for granted. It’s assumed that eventually at some point, something life-changing will happen, a new important character will make an appearance, or something inspiring or motivating will come up, right? The situation might be painful, it might be encouraging and painless; But in the end, before the credits roll, we’re left knowing that every piece has fallen into place for the better. Characters usually fall in love or mend family relationships or develop life-long friendships or find, without a doubt, their purpose, who they truly are, and live happily ever after.

But how does this one end? With the way things have been going, I’m starting to think that I’m the villain in this story.

calvin the wise

May 10, 2012

It’s funny, but of all the books I’ve read and re-read as a kid (to the present even), Calvin and Hobbes has always been a staple of how I perceive friendship, love, my parents, school, nature, the universe, and even God, albeit subtly. More than just a comic strip, profound ideas and ideologies can be found within the humor. Did I mention that I have the ENTIRE collection? Ten years of collecting, but it is now complete.

We all want to be admired in some way or another. Sub-thoughts and points regarding the topic jumbled in my mind; selfishness, self-glorification, motives for doing certain things, self-worth, just a lot of self — even in selflessness. Art and intelligence and eloquence and blog entries and work and possessions and missions trips and ministries and hearts and halves. And have-nots. Sorry, this is impossible to follow, foggy in my head, even worse on paper/keyboards/computer monitors, but I (kind of and don’t) understand. Just a little more observant, a little too judgemental lately.

I honestly don’t remember a non-cynical me.

Endless talks with Katrina lately consisting of just about every type of relational situation and this is me coming to grips with the fact that I might not be cut out for ANY such situation, even the superficial and unmeaningful ones. And I’ve always had this idea of myself in my mind: self-less and romantic and considerate and hopeful and chivalrous, and maybe I was once, or maybe it was just wishful thinking, or some kind of arrogance. Seems lately my only goal is to be less of a prick — and I’m failing at it.

What is this broken-ness anyway? It isn’t as if anything substantial or devestating has happened to me particularly. As of late though, mind has been blown over processing the ideals of friendships and love and the ending or struggles of both. And forgiveness. And maybe Katrina’s right and I’m just really empathetic.

And as much as I am cynical, or how I rant of loss of faith in people and love, and my own fears of being able to cope in certain situations, and this constant sense of discouragement — Do I have a genuine hope that that isn’t always the case? That there exists an unconditional love even in human relationships, with one another?

I really do.

And I’m scared that that’ll either make me indescribably happy in the end or shatter me completely.

hope/less

January 16, 2012

Love. I believe in it less and less. Even good people in love do some messed up shit. And I’m pretty much scum, so yeah, bad situation.

sideways moving skyscrapers

December 16, 2011

Commutes to and from LA used to consist of newspapers and books, now they’re iPads and headphones.

Watching out the window and quietly basking in the view of the bright lights and raindrops flying away from me as this train passes. Music video-directing in my mind; listening to Michael Giacchino’s “There’s No Place Like Home” from the LOST soundtrack on repeat and becoming an emotional wreck and tearing up like a crazy person for some reason. I don’t know, I think

I should be happier than this.

yts

December 12, 2011

I’ll be honest. I’m not into her, but she’s fun, she’s funny, she’s adorably cute, she’s talented, she’s intelligent. Our tastes and interests are very different in a lot of ways, but similar in some. We have fun and even have meaningful conversations when we’re together, and I can tell that she enjoys it too. But even though she’s the one that calls/texts/tweets me, I can’t get over the feeling that she doesn’t want to. Actually enjoy time with me, I mean. Like she’d rather be with someone hipper, hotter, or, something-er. It makes me sad because even though it’s more noticeable with her,

I can’t help but feel that this is who I’ll be to everyone, forever.

tumblr’d out

November 5, 2011

Two years later and I am so sick of Tumblr and everybody’s “reblogs”. Ugh, everybody shut up if you don’t have anything original to say or think or post. So, I’m back. Also, I think it’s kind of sad I don’t even want to transfer anything. Keeping my photography projects on Tumblr though, because their photo layouts are aesthetically pleasing.

Random note: At Starbucks right now, unintentionally eavesdropping on two late-thirty year old women discussing their opinions and predictions on Twilight: Breaking Dawn Part 1 which comes out like next week or something. Yikes.

and browsing through the women’s dresses, which, to be honest, i would be doing even if they didn’t have hot girls modeling them. merely a bonus. :) there are some amazingly designed pieces that make me wish that i was a student at fidm. and not because of the extreme ratio of males to females attending. merely a bonus. :)

i miss working at starbucks

September 12, 2009

September 7, 2009

Jim: So as it turns out, I may not have done so hot on my customer reviews this year.

Pam: Maybe it’s ’cause you spent the whole year flirting with the receptionist.

Jim: Little bit. Worth it.

"creativity takes courage"

September 4, 2009

has anybody realized that cathy nguyen’s immense popularity comes without a single original song? just an observation. harsh name drop, but every performer in the “circle” has at least one song written, right? Someone correct me if i’m wrong.

edit: so cathy proved me wrong by singing an amazing original song via blogtv… the way we’ve been corresponding lately kind of leads me to believe that she’s read this post but i hope she didn’t because now i feel bad. haha. so a million apologies to cathy, but if you DID read this, i only hope it’s helped as a sort of constructive criticism? :) love you.

she has been, and will always be — the entertainment of my life hahaha

note: phone conversation consisted of 90% laughter, 5% inaudible dialogue because of said laughter, and eventually 5% of our short stories being told

music: local natives/cavil at rest, bon iver, eisley, the fray, kina grannis, wilco, fleet foxes, of montreal, broken social scene, death cab for cutie, explosions in the sky, she & him, passion pit, incubus, tilly and the wall, matt costa | film (trailers): 500 days of summer, away we go, where the wild things are; watch these movies with me | books: hp and the deathly hallows, the time traveler’s wife, dibs in search of self, the perks of being a wallflower, | other: pencil and small notebook sketches of actual people; might add it to my drawings blog, walks around the neighborhood, random polaroids, ipods, pebbles

the thriller record cost me sixty-nine cents at a small thrift shop in chino
the affect and emotions and memories brought on by his songs: priceless

i’m in l.a., trick

June 14, 2009

summer sweaters and scarves and inconsistent weather and im having trouble remembering what summer feels like in southern california. nothing is what it should be lately. attempting to keep certain situations out of mind, but doing the exact opposite, unintentionally singing second voice to every dashboard confessional song i hear and it freaks me out.

i am addicted to: twitter, apple iPod touch applications, mountain dew, ebay, string cheese, thrift stores, sleep, being awake, sytycd, coffee smells, man purses, polaroids, mixtapes to myself, and the sheer genious fashion senses of blake lively, camilla belle, and whitney port

wth, I spelled “genius” wrong
gayyyy

“hello. this is a formal announcement letting you know that I will be kidnapping you sometime very soon. good day.”

— rachel dejesus on my voicemail; a few minutes ago

at least i hope that was rachel. creepy. haha. on a lighter and less scary note, while the parents have been away in the philippines, i’ve been trying to think of obscure things i can do around the house that i basically wouldn’t do if they were around. (evil laugh goes here.)

so far all i’ve managed to do is use the bathroom with the door open.